Woodison Crusoe
by Detective88
Summary: Captain Hook has been stranded on an island and surviving on nothing, but coconuts and getting harrassed by Tick-Tock the Crocodile. But then Woody Woodpecker washes up onto the island and Hook begins trying to cook him.


After a talk with Jessy and after reading Leah's parody of the Bugs Bunny cartoon, "Rabbitson Crusoe", I wanted to do a parody of it too. It looked so fun and it stars my favorite woodpecker as the star. I don't own Peter Pan, Woody Woodpecker, etc.

Summary: Captain Hook has been stranded on an island and surviving on nothing, but coconuts and getting harassed by Tick-Tock the Crocodile. But then, Woody Woodpecker washes up onto the island and Hook begins trying to cook him.

* * *

**Woodison Crusoe**

**Starring**

**Hans Conried(may he rest in peace) as Captain Hook**

**Bill Thompson as Mr. Smee**

**and **

**Grace Shaffold as Woody Woodpecker**

We see a page open in a diary and hear Captain Hook's voice narrating.

"_A low tide and a high rock caused my predicament." _Hook narrated.

* * *

We now see a wrecked ship and a group of rocks leading to a small island with a makeshift shelter on it.

"_The ship's supplies are used up and my only food supply is a lonely coconut tree."_

We then see more rocks leading to another small island with the coconut tree Hoook mentioned.

"Unfortunatly, gathering coconuts was a problem because of a dangerous man-eating crocodile named Tick-Tock, who developed a taste for me after that cursed Peter Pan cut my hand and fed it to him."

We now see the giant crocodile in question behind the rocks every now and then, licking his chops waiting for Hook.

Now Hook was a man with a hook instead of his right hand, a thin black mustache, black hair, blue eyes, a pink puffy shirt, red jacket, pants, hat with a pink feather and he wore black shoes.

With him was a tubby man with a pink nose, white sideburns, a red cap, a blue/white shirt and blue pants and sandals; he's Mr. Smee, Hook's first mate.

"What happened to the crew?" asked Hook.

"They went to the island." said Smee, pointing to an island far away where Hook's pirates were being swooned by native girls.

* * *

Back on Hook's island, Hook turned his attention to the coconut tree.

Behind one of the rocks, Tick-Tock sneakily peeked out.

After Hook looked left and right, he signaled to Smee to find Tick-Tock if any means possible. Smee nodded as Hook crossed a few rocks until he heard Smee yell "CAPTAIN!"

Hook looked back and screamed like a little girl, before he started running across the rest of the rocks as Tick-Tock chased after him.

Once he arrived on land, Hook then glided up the coconut tree as Tick-Tock continued to chase him before Hook grabbed a mallet and began hitting Tickk-Tock with it as he shouted, "Back, back, back! Down you gluttious reptile!"

Tick-Tock went back went back into the water, frightened after whimpering like a dog.

"Doggone beast!" Hook muttered as he climbed up the tree. He then slid down the tree with a coconut in his hook.

Once that was done, he once again looked left and right, before he crossed a couple of rocks, but then looked back and screamed, "SMEE!" before he continued running across the rocks with Tick-Tock chasing him again.

"Captain!" Smee called.

"SMEE! SMEE!" Hook screamed as he arrived back onto the island. Smee took out a mallet and ran towards Tick-Tock with it. Seeing Smee with the mallet, Tick-Tock yelped and skidded to a halt, before he fled the island and went back into the water.

"Shame on you! Upsetting the poor captain!" Smee scolded. He then turned to Hook and said, "All clear."

Hook regained confidence and said, "Twenty years you've tried to catch me and you've failed yet again!" He and Smee then walked off.

* * *

Moments later, we see a cookbook entitled "1000 Ways to Prepare Coconuts", a pot, and Hook sitting at a table with Smee in a chef's hat.

"Now, let's see what we have here." Hook said. "Tossed coconut salad." He poured the milk from a coconut into a glass and said, "Fresh coconut milk." he then lifted a cover off a platter and sniffed the coconut as he said, "And New England boiled coconut."

"Don't forget dessert. Coconut pudding." Smee smiled.

This made Hook frown and sweep his coconut dinner off the table shouting as he then went to Smee and took the hat off his head, "_**I HATE COCONUTS! FOR TWENTY YEARS, I'VE HAD COCONUTS, SMEE! I CAN'T STAND COCONUTS! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" **_He began bonking his head on the pole of his house until he and Smee heard singing.

Voice:_** Everybody thinks I'm screwy!**_

_**Screwy as a loon, that's me**_

_**When I get on a driving spree**_

Wondering where that noise was coming from, Smee and Hook turned and saw a makeshift boat with wood in the waves and two blue arms with white gloves paddling the boat.

_**The coppers all get panicky!**_

_**Honk my horn**_

_**(honks a fake horn)**_

_**Strip my gears!**_

_**(pretends to use a break)**_

_**So I'm screwy, what, what, what, can I do?**_

_**I ask you**_

Hook smiled excitedly, knowing what that thing in the boat was.

"A woodpecker?" He turned to Smee and said, "Smee, do you know what this means? We get real food!"

"Oh, yes." Smee said. "I thought you liked your coconut meal?"

"Coconuts, smoconuts! I'm having woodpecker tonight!" Hook said.

Hook and Smee rushed towards the edge of the island and called, "Ahoy, woodpecker! Ahoy! This way, woodpecker!" the woodpecker who had been singing was a blue feathered woodpecker with a red crown on his head, white feathers on his tummy, a yellow beak and feet and white gloves; he's Woody Woodpecker. Woody looked up when he heard Hook and Smee as Hook called out, "We'll save you, woodpecker! This way!"

"It's land!" Woody said. "Yay! I'm saved!" He began to paddle to the boat as he said, "At last!"

Hook rushed out towards the island, holding his arms and calling to Woody, "Don't fall overboard!"

Suddenly, Woody's makeshift boat got caught on a giant tidal wave and Hook and Smee skidded to a stop and ran away before Woody jumped into Hook's arms before the tidal wave crashed He stopped near the pot and smirked evilly. Woody cringed because the hook poked him on the backside.

"Ouch!" Woody groaned.

"Sorry about that." Hook apologized.

"Thank goodness, dry land!" Woody exclaimed, "Boy does it feel good to be dry again!" Hook continued to smirk evilly as he tossed Woody into the pot of water. Woody surfaced and asked Hook and Smee, as Smee lit up a match and lit up the logs below the pot, "Hey, what's the big idea? What's going?"

"I'm going to make woodpecker stew." Hook told him.

"Woodpecker stew?" asked Woody. "Mmm, sounds awfully good. Where are you and your dad gonna get the woodpecker?"

"We already have the woodpecker." Smee told him before Hook winked at Woody, "Get the idea?"

Hook laughed evilly and Woody's eyes went wide, "Oh yeah, I get the idea." he laughed nervously before he made the weirdest scared face. Then he calmed down and asked Hook, who began fanning the flames, "So how long will it be before dinner's ready?"

"Just a few minutes." Hook told him, "Assuming there are no accidents."

"You mean like this?" asked Woody, before he scooped up a ladleful of water and poured it onto the fire, dousing it before he said, "Oops, my bad. First accident."

"Ooh, you-!" Hook groaned. "Don't you know how scarce matches are on this island" Woody opened his mouth to answer, but Hook said, "No, don't answer that." He and Smee walked over to the other side of the island where the rocks leading to the ship were, as he muttered, "Now I have to go all the way to the ship to get another match."

"Captain, don't you think it'll be easier if you just park the ship closer to the island?" Smee asked.

Hook ignored his question and once again, he glanced left and right before he stepped on a green rock, which was actually Tick-Tock, who surfaced and snapped at Hook's feet. Hook jumped back with a yelp of terror before he noticed his toes have been chomped off. But it wasn't as one toe popped out and glanced left and right, but it went back in and popped out, along with the rest of his toes.

"Ha! You missed again!" Hook taunted the crocodile, before he pulled out a bone and whistle before Tick-Tock emerged panting like a dog.

Hook smirked and said in a mock playful tone, waving the bone, "Here boy, go get it!" He tossed the bone and Tick-Tock swam off to get it.

Now that Tick-Tock was gone, Hook smirked and crosse the rocks and arrived at the ship. Hook ran inside and opened a safe with his hook, before he opened a drawer with a few matches in it and took out. He then crossed the rocks and back onto the island before he turned to the empty pot.

"What the-?" Hook said before he peered into the pot and out popped Tick Tock and he bit him, so that only Hook's legs were sticking out as he staggered around.

"SMEE! SMEE!" Hook screamed.

Smee ran to Hook and grabbed a mallet and began smacking Tick-Tock with the dull part, making the crocodile let go of Hook and flee, making Smee smack Hook with the blade.

Hook got to his senses, grabbed the mallet from Smee and smacked him on the head with it.

Tick-Tock went back into the sea, yelping like a dog again.

Hook staggered around, seeing woodpeckers floating around his head, before he remembered and said, "Now where'd that rat with wings go?"

Just then he and Smee heard a voice call out, "Yoo-hoo!" he turned and saw Woody on the ship as Woody called out, "Mr. Codfish!"

"I'll get you, you silly woodpecker. Croc or no croc!"

With that, he grabbed a surfboard and began riding it to the ship only to gasp when he saw Tick-Tock and landed in his mouth which Hook shut as Hook paddled to the end of the stem, which he bumped against.

* * *

Back on the ship, Woody could only grab some popcorn and watch as Hook swam out of Tick-Tock's mouth, holding an alarm clock, before Hook noticed the ringing on the alarm clock and tossed it back into Tick-Tock's mouth as the crocodile chased after him.

"SMEE! SMEE!" Hook screamed as this was going on.

* * *

Later, Woody was singing again.

Woody: _**Mahalo nui ia**_

_**Ke Ali iwahine**_

_**O lili ulani**_

_**O ka Wohi ku**_

_**Ka pipio mai o ke anuenue**_

_**Na waihooluu a halikeole**_

_**E nana na maka I ke ao malama**_

**_Mai Hawaii akea I Kauai_**

Meanwhile, a rock was holding a baloon down as Hook tied the string around him as he said, "This time I'll outsmart that woodpecker. Mr. Smee, stay here." said Hook.

"Aye-aye, Captain." Smee saluted.

Hook lifted one feather and then smiled as he said, rolling the rock off the balloon, "Good, the wind's just right." The balloon lifted him into the air and Woody noticed this and smirked.

_**O Kal' kaua he inoa**_

_**O Ka pua mae ole I ka I'**_

_**Ka pua malia I ka mauna**_

_**I ke kuahiwi o Mauna kea**_

_**Ke'malia I K'lauea**_

_**M'lamalama I Wahinekapu**_

_**A ka luna o Uw'kahuna**_

_**I ka pali kapu o Ka auea**_

He moved off the side of the ship and walked to a trapdoor

Hook laughed evilly as the balloon began to decend towards the ship and he said, "Now I've got you, woodpecker!"

But Woody smirked and opened the trapdoor and Hook stopped laughing when Tick-Tock waiting in the wreck, grinned evilly. Woody laughed his trademark laugh as he watched Hook getting attacked by Tick-Tock.

But then, Hook could be screaming, "SMEE!" Smee rushed over and ran down the stairs. Now we hear Hook whimpering and Smee hitting the crocodile with a club as he backed up the stairs with Hook ontop of him like Scooby-Doo and onto the deck, yelling, "Down, down, down, you monster! Shoo!"

before he slammed the door shut.

Woody began hopping across the rocks, but Hook and Smee chased after them with Hook catching Woody with his hook and ran to the island saying, "Alright, woodpecker, the buck stops here!" he tossed Woody into the pot and said, "Into the pot with you!" Woody came out of the water and watched as Smee lit up a match and then lit the logs as Hook said, pulling out a cookbook, "Alright now, let's see. Let woodpecker simmer for an hour and a half."

Suddenly, Woody yelled, "Tidal wave!"

"Nice try, woodpecker!" Hook said. "But I'm not falling for that. Now shut up and simmer!"

"C-c-captain?" Smee said.

"What, Smee?" Hook demanded. Hook looked back and saw a giant tidal wave coming towards them and Woody, before the wave washed the three of them.

* * *

Later, Woody was in sea in the pot while saying, "How about that? The island's gone."

"Help!" Hook screamed as he swam up to Woody while being chased by Tick Tock. Smee popped out of the pot and handed Woody a stick. "Quick, woodpecker, pull me in! Pull me in!"

"Alright, alright, keep your shirt on." Woody said using the stick to pull Hook out of the water.

"What are you waiting for?" Hook yelled at Woody. "Pull me in!"

"Not unless we make a deal." Woody told him.

"No deals." said Hook.

"Alright. Back into the water you go." said Woody, lowering him into the water.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!" Hook yelled. "Whatever you say!" Woody pulled him back as Hook yelled, "It's a deal, it's a deal!"

* * *

Later Woody, who was holding the stick with Hook dangling from it as he used a paddle to paddle them along while Smee used another paddle to help Hook.

"After all, a deal's a deal." Woody said before making his trademark laugh.

Hook gasped and he and Smee started to paddle faster as Tick-Tock followed them and they passed a sign saying "San Francisco 2736."

**The End**

* * *

That's the end. I wanted to do this. Gracias Jessy and Leah for the inspiration. Read and Review.


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